Tis Me Michelle

Well, well, well. Here we are again. I suppose you can say my phases/inconsistencies are consistent. Looking back on my First Quarter Roundup, it seems I was in a similar spot where I fell off my blogging and then got back to it full steam. So expect many food posts coming soon. For my year of ‘thriving’, I have to say it’s been a bumpy road. I think part of it is just accepting that’s just how life is. A roller coaster. So here’s a quick overview of where things are at overall for each of the pillars I had set for myself.

Work/Career: I very much fell off my creative YouTube/blog game. I have my next few blogs slated, so I’m happy about that. And I really want to keep going in my restaurant/bar review space. YouTube is still a toss-up, but I do want to make short-form content to accompany my blogs. That will probably be my next hyperfixation.

I have been in a funk and I think my day job may have something to do with it. I had mentioned that there was something good brewing in the last post and my video. The part that’s not good is that… It’s just continued to brew and now I’m steeping in it and am feeling rather bitter about it. There hasn’t been much news or communication and that’s been bothersome. One part of me is like ‘be patient’, the other is like ‘what the hell did you do’. I don’t do well in the realm of uncertainty, it just plays into my anxiety. All to say, things are very up in the air on the career front.

Health: This has been my better area, but not amazing by any means. I’ve kept up with intuitive eating for the most part actually. I struggle with it during my period and when I’m stressed/anxious. Honestly, my body just goes off during my PMS period, it’s rather annoying. Oh, and I’ve been anxious lately, so I’ve just been overindulging in food a bit too much. I have got to relax.

Last quarter I had signed up for classes with Pure Barre. I took a handful of classes, and they were okay. I don’t know why I thought they would incorporate more ballet. They are more like HIIT/cardio workouts with a ballet bar that you use very rarely. Anyways, I didn’t continue those classes once I ran out of sessions I had paid for. I did like that act of going somewhere though. I’ve probably mentioned before that I have a workout machine thingy in my garage and I never use it. Like I could and I should, but I just don’t. I put that membership on pause for a few months and I signed up for Planet Fitness. I’ve really been enjoying it and it’s been a good stress reliever. I’m not putting any crazy expectations on myself. I just wanna keep doing it.

Finances: I was talking to a good friend about our ‘pillars’ the other day and I was telling her I don’t really care about this one right now. I know I need to save some money. Aside from figuring out that I can keep collecting a check and paying my mortgage, that’s about as much as I can handle when it comes to finances.

Relationships: As someone who is probably too comfortable being alone and doing things alone, it sure does get… Lonely. It’s hard when a lot of my close friends/family are in different phases of life. There is a level of enjoying the freedom I have to do what I want when I want, but there’s equally something to the fact I do indeed have to do almost everything myself and it can get tiring and sometimes depressing.

I had mentioned there was a guy at work that seemed like he was interested in me and I simply wasn’t interested. There were a few more awkward interactions, but I think, or at least hope he has gotten the message at this point. On the flip side, I’ve had two disappointing experiences with guys I was interested in, payback I suppose. Somewhere at some point, I had mentioned a cutie in my pottery class. I tried to leave him my number, but he either didn’t see it or he did and wasn’t interested. And that class has ended so that’s over now.

I had my first real crush on a guy pretty recently. He also works with me. I’ve thought he was cute for a while, but I rarely interacted with him and honestly didn’t even know if he was single. As it’s gotten Florida-level hot, he started wearing short-sleeved shirts and I learned he was tatted. So every time I saw him in the office I’d think to myself ‘Wow, he’s cute’ and he genuinely seemed to be a sweet guy. We had a work happy hour the other month and I chatted with him here and there. After that happy hour, I told my one friend from work ‘You know how you asked me what my type is… It’s him’. She knew that he was recently single, not that that meant I had a chance. When I tell you there is some kind of karmic joke on me ever finding someone, I am not exaggerating. The moment I speak that I’m interested in someone into existence, something happens. Either they immediately start dating someone, are clearly not interested in me, or in this case, he’s leaving the company and probably moving states. So there ends that too.

In Conclusion…

You know, overall, things are not actually that bad. Sometimes life can just be disheartening or situations can be disappointing. At the same time, I am still very privileged and have a blessed life. I have a trip to NYC coming that I’m super excited about and booked a super impromptu trip to Greece with my cousin. Having a trip booked always lifts my spirits to have something to look forward to. I am still hopeful that this year has me thriving, it just may not be in the areas I am pinpointing. It could be in even better ways, ways that are too big for me to even imagine. We shall see…